Film Reviews Amazon Will Actually Accept
Price talk, health claims, and a messy vertical clip are how first videos die.
Amazon is not YouTube. The onsite video sits on a product page next to the buy box. Shoppers are trying to decide, not watch a vlog. Film for that person.
The rules I’m treating as non-negotiable
Horizontal. Phone on a tripod. Show the actual item in your hands, not a still from the listing. Say the exact product name the way Amazon lists it. Do not mention price. Do not promise health, medical, or “this cured my…” anything. Keep it short enough that someone will watch it in a store aisle in their head: what it is, how you use it, what surprised you.
If you need a script, use three beats: what it is, how you use it, what you’d tell a neighbor before they bought it. Then stop.
Setup that does not require a studio
Daylight near a window beats a $400 light kit you haven’t learned. A cheap tripod is enough for talking-head and overhead. Film the thing you already own. If you have to buy a product just to have something to say, you’re already in the content-mill trap I wrote about in How I Pick Gear.
Audio: a quiet room. Phone mic is fine until it isn’t. If the mower is running, you’re demonstrating, not narrating over it.
What I will not upload
A 12-second unbox with no use. A video that exists only to hit a quota. Anything I would be embarrassed to leave on a product page for a year. The library compounds. Junk in week one is still junk in month six.
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